Hey Ma, I’m on the Internet!

So, last day of school. I’d like to say thanks to all my viewers (all three of you. Hurhurhur.) and folks who commented on my blog. I’m gonna keep this short and sweet. If I ever get a new blog, I’ll post a link here, but I can’t confirm that it’ll be appropriate.

END OF BLOG STATS

Posts: 52

Comments: 110

Not too shabby for a school blog, methinks.

And a little parting gift: A Wordle picture of everything I’ve posted on a blog. Now you can see just how self-absorbed I am!

Seriously. The biggest word is ‘I’m’.

So the new Pyro stuff has been reveiled and the changes to the Pyro have been uncovered, as well as Meet the Sniper being released. A good week for TF2.

The Pyro stuff first:

The first Pyro unlockable is The Flare Gun, which replaces the shotgun. It allows the Pyro to ignite an enemy at long range, but does require careful aim on their part. It’s particularly useful for causing havoc on Snipers and Engineers who want to keep their distance.

The second Pyro unlockable is The Backburner. This flamethrower is built for the Pyro who likes to ambush their opponents. It removes the compression blast capability, instead guaranteeing critical hits whenever it’s used on an opponent from behind. To aid in survivability, it grants the Pyro an extra fifty health.

The third Pyro unlockable is The Axtinguisher. This mighty axe guarantees critical hits on any enemy that’s currently on fire, although it’s significantly weaker against enemies who aren’t. A great combination with the The Flare Gun, or with another Pyro buddy riding alongside doing the igniting.

I’d like to thank Shacknews for the pictures. I directly quoted the weapon commentary from their article as well. A nifty site, I recommend checking ‘em out.

The Pyro’s Flamethrower weapon has been given an upgrade as well. The alternate fire (right-click by default) has been turned into an airblast. The airblast doesn’t do much- if any- damage, but it launches foes away.

What this means is that the Flamer can now perform area denial for ubers. This will also help kill soldiers, because now you can light them on fire, then blast them as they turn around and gun them down with the shotgun

Better yet, the airblast can knock away explosives now. For example, say a soldier shoots a rocket, and it’s a crit. The first thing you would’ve done earlier  is pray you aren’t insta-gibbed. but now, you can blow away this exact same rocket back at him and take him down instead.

Meet the Sniper:

Not as good as Meet the Soldier, but still hilarious.

Little things like the “copyright LOLOLOLOL” at the bottom of the opening frame, the headshot picture on a street sign, the Sniper chatting with his parents, and blowing up half the map make this one my third favourite. (Right behind Meet the Soldier and Meet the Heavy)

“Dad? dad, I’m a *interrupted* Not a crazed gunman, dad, I’m an assassin!… Well, the difference bein’ that one is a job and the other’s mental sickness!”

*pokes his bobblehead* “Boom. Headshot.”

*Attempting to snipe someone off screen* “Um… I think his mate saw me. *bullets whiz by, Sniper ducks* ” Yes, yes he did!”

And best of all: “You have to be polite, efficient, and have a plan to kill everyone that you meet.”

I would love to give you the link, but it’s pretty gruesome, so I’m gonna have to recommend doing a search on Google.  Try to view it off of the Steam site for best quality.

So I’ve come to the conclusion that the Wii just isn’t enough to satiate my hunger for good games. With the rediculous amount of shovelware being released on the Wii I rarely see anything worth a purchase on store shelves these days (Forget about Wii Fit. That game is terrible). What worries me, though, is how well this garbage sells.

People buy the Wii these days because they want to try Wii Sports/Wii Fit/ Wii Play, then when they get bored of that they go out and buy these piles of trash because they’re misinformed about gaming. When they buy these games they usually realise how terrible it is and don’t play the Wii anymore. Because this stuff sells, developers never feel the need to raise the bar and make more shovelware.

And that’s why I’ve come to the conclusion that I should pick up a secondary console. I’ve been thinking about the PS3, but the only games on it are MGS4 and Little Big Planet… maybe Final Fantasy. Not to mention the hefty price tag, but at least online is free and better than Nintendo’s ‘Big Brother’ approach to online gaming. After that, I don’t think I’ll be using it much. I’m also a little spiteful with Sony’s ‘I’m the big 800-pound gorilla of video games and I’ll do whatever I want and you’re gonna like it’ business strategy.

I also know a lot of idiots who bought it for ’street cred’ or because they felt loyal to their brand (I’m serious, I know people with a PS3 just to have one. It doesn’t make you cool, people!) and I’d loathe to be categorized with that group… However, I can relate: I did the same thing with the Wii.

Alternatively I could get the XBOX360. With games like Dead Rising, Bioshock, Mass Effect, Gears of War, GTA4 which runs better on an XBOX, and Halo 3 (not so much Halo 3, though) I’d have plenty of good games to occupy my time. However, most of these are FPSs and I’ve never cared much for that genre as a whole. A lot of these games are coming to or are on the PC now as well. The online isn’t free, but with the leftover cash from NOT buying a PS3 I could buy a few years worth of online gaming time, not to mention Castle Crashers is coming to the XBOX Arcade soon.

However, despite the freedom of their online, I heard the community is largely garbage - which Halo is infamous for. I really don’t want to hear 8-year olds screaming racial slurs into the mic while I try to play. I swear, next person to tell me to crank something online gets a fistful of boomstick. ._.

So I turn to you, the helpful reader. What system should I purchase to satisfy my gaming needs?

In case you haven’t heard, Rare is making a new Banjo-Kazooie game for the XBOX360. I for one am a huge fan of Rares old work and hoped it would be the blast-to-the-past I was looking for.

Frankly, what I’ve seen so far broke my gaming heart. I was hoping for Banjo- Threeie… but they’ve decided to add vehicles to replace everything that made the old games so amazing to me.

They took away all of Kazooie’s powers. I haven’t seen a single egg being shot, the duo hasn’t been turned into a washing machine at all so far ( a running gag. You’d get it if you played the first two) and not once have I seen Mumbo Jumbo demanding rediculous fees of metal skulls in order to turn you into something stupid.

As I’ve said, they actually added vehicles. Instead of using that bird in the bear’s backpack to fly, now you’re using helicopters. Rare representatives have said themselves- though I don’t have the exact quote- that about 80% of the adventure will take place in your vehicle.

Your vehicle is fully customizable. I’ve seen videos where adding wings or a propeller to the top of your car instantly makes it a flying machine (which is cool, it reminds me of LEGO) and a large basket-looking piece was added to what looked like a truck to collect falling coconuts.

I can understand Rare wanting to move the platforming genre forward, but did this really have to be a Banjo game? They easily could have made an entirely new IP for this game. Seeing as how Kazooie now carries around a wand, I’m guessing a wizard would’ve worked just fine. When the sequel was announced, I was expecting a traditional platformer.Now I have… this vehicular adventure game. I can’t say I’m not dissapointed.

I respect and applaud Rare’s contribution to the platforming genre and their attempts to move the genre forward, but I wasn’t looking for this. After seven years of MIA, I really hoped for something to bring me back to the old days. Back in a time where not every other game released was a FPS, back when games came in colours other than gray and brown, back when games didn’t take themselves so seriously and weren’t afaid to crack wise.

Back in a time when platformers ruled the land, and no one was afraid to try something new. Back when 3D graphics were cutting edge, but they still emphasized gameplay over graphics. Back when Japanese developers were making actual games instead of this Wii Fit, etc. garbage. Those were the good old days of gaming, and I’d kill to have them back.

  In an effort to avoid being overly preachy or sappy, I’ve decided to conduct a list of things I consider true. Whether you agree with them or not, I’d like to hear your own opinions. Maybe post some of your own truths? If I agree with them, maybe I’ll add them to the list.

  As with all my posts, I mean no hostility and if I offend anybody in a way I deem serious (if you don’t like my use of the word thick, for example, I’ll probably pay you no mind.) like accidently coming off as racist I’ll be sure to edit it.

1. When you’re walking down a street at night after watching a horror movie , the streetlight in front of you/under you will go out when it’s most inconvenient.

2. You never get lucky when you need to. Ever.

3. “Everyone lower on the chain than me is an idiot and everyone above me has their head up their rear.” - 8bit theatre. The world is full of jerks, including ourselves.

4. Life is hard, and everything gets worse before it gets better. You just have to keep your head up and keep moving forward, no matter how tough. I myself am relatively sheltered and have led an easy life, but we all know this to be true. It seems the world is always rallying against you, but they aren’t, and there are always some sort of help on your side.

5. “As history has taught us, anybody can be killed.”- The Godfather Which is pretty weak; I wanted to live forever.

6.Animals aren’t people, but people are animals.

7. People aren’t evil, they just mistake it for happiness.

8. Heartbreak happens (but I wouldn’t know that from experience).

9. You need a good education to succeed in this world.

10. All advice is best taken with a grain of salt.

11. Contrary to popular opinion, words can hurt. Thinking before you open your mouth can get you far, and makes you look less like a thick moron. I’m speaking from experience.

12. The minds of children are relatively untainted, and folks who take that away from them need a swift kick in the pants.

13. Things are either fantastic or mundane, never inbetween.

14. If it’s tasty it is definately bad for you. Nutella is the exception. Nutella > you.

15. Karma happens. Learn from it.

16. Soldiers shooting at each other does NOT solve the world’s problems. :/

17. Celebrities are not things to worship. Who cares what they do?

18. Not even The Flash can outrun death. Everyone has their time. For example, when my grandfather passed away, I was very, very crushed because I never got to say goodbye… I’m glad he went out with his dignity though. I like to think that’s better than slowly dieing from old age and it’s syptoms, being an emotional burden on himself and the family.

19. It doesn’t matter who you’re talking to, life was better back when they were a kid.

20. Adoption is the greatest gift you can give an orphan.

21. The homeless are people. Open your hearts to someone who needs it.

22. Crying doesn’t make you any less of a man/woman. Everyone has a breaking point.

23. Individuality was gods gift to man, yet I still see people trying to fit in. Popularity is overrated- you only need a handful of friends. Everyone has their own opinion, so if someone disagrees with you don’t immediately begin to sling mud.

 Say you like rap (eww. See? That’s an example of voicing your opinion!) and someone else likes Jazz, don’t take hostile action and don’t be baited into a stupid argument. It’s like arguing over whether apples or oranges is better.

24. Growing up is madatory, but growing up is optional.

25. Everyone is equal. If you judge people by their skin colour, ethnicity, etc. do the world a favour and never leave your house.

  An absolutely terrifying video of Ronald McDonald. If you never knew the true horror of that clown before, watch this video and open your eyes to his terrors! At about 0:57 it really gets messed up… Someone get this on TV and spread this warning: If we don’t stop eating at McDonalds, Ronald will take over the universe. You cannot aprehend the true creepiness of Ronald McDonald.

  The music in the background is the Giygas theme from Earthbound. Giygas is famous for being one of the most emotionally exhausting boss battles of the SNES era, and his quote “I feel H…A…P…P…Y…….”.

   If you’re afraid of clowns, you might be better off not watching this.

  So my class is participating in the 31-Day Comment Challenge. Seeing as how we’ll be getting some more traffic, I feel the need to basically make a post saying “How do you do, enjoy your stay.” So without further ado…

  How do you do, enjoy your stay.

  My name is Brandon, citizen of The Middle of Nowhere, Manitoba. I enjoy vidja games, particularly games on the Wii. Don’t think for a second I’m just another casual gamer - I don’t buy pointless shovelware like Table Tennis or Ninja Reflexes (honestly people, there are so many better games out there). I prefer No More Heroes, Super Mario Galaxy, Smash Bros Brawl, Metroid Prime and retro games of all sorts. Team Fortress 2 has also eaten up hours of my time, and I definately reccomend picking it up if you haven’t yet.

  I also get a kick out of drawing, but I don’t fool myself into thinking I’m a top-notch artist. I just enjoy doodling, is all. I use it as an outlet for making fun of the stupidity of the world around me, particularly pop culture. I really give ski-dooing, dirtbiking, and riding quads a good ribbing because I must be the only person in my class who thinks they’re stupid. I’m so nonconformist. :/

  Take a look around. Read the posts, and be sure to leave comments so everyone will know you’re super cool on the internet. ‘Cause as we all know, super cool folk post comments here.  ._.

  To me, the most important thing a parent can do for his/her teen is provide a foundation for success. At our age, we’re independant enough to do our own laundry and cook our own food and such. When we were very little, we needed our parents to survive, then we needed our parents for comfort. Right now we need a chance to make it somewhere in the world. They provide us with a home and help put us through college/university so we can do something big with our lives.

  We also need our freedom. At our age we want to stay out late, and hang out with our friends, and all the other things us teenagers are doing nowadays. Lots of parents know better than this and want us to study or something. A good parent can find a balance. We need priviledges, but we need some restrictions too, or we’d end up dead in a gutter or something.

  And while not the most important, we also need our space. Right now, our harmones are all out of wack and we’re moody and hate everything. The last thing we want is our parents sticking their heads into everything. As a teenager myself I think I speak for all of us when I say parents need to mind their own business. Looking out for us for the greater good or not, it still makes us want to kick in a door and that’s just how it is.

Don’t do this. Seriously.

  A parent needs to teach their kid about life’s lessons, and how to live alone. They’ll sympathize with us over love, loss, and what is what like when they were our age. “When I was your age…”

  A great parent does all these things well, but is also there for the worst-case scenarios when we do resort to their oppinions (no offense, but talking with your parents is always awkward). They have to be all knowing- or at least as far as we can tell- give us plenty of priviledges as rewards for doing well, and privacy, then I’ll consider them a good parent and as such will respect them enough to listen to them.

What I want to know:

10. How to cook something that isn’t Chef Boyardee. A guy can only eat so much Beefaroni.

Yummy.

9. How to balance my chores. Inbetween work, cooking, school, grocery shopping, etc. I’m not going to have a lot of time for vidya games.

8. How to sharpshoot. I’m sure that in some point in my life this will be important. >_>

7. How to edit photos proffesionally. It’d be a neat skill to have.

6. How to overclock my computer. Just because.

5. How to fly. It’s rediculous but I will find a way.

4. How to play vidya games at a proffessional level. And yes, you can actually make a living this way, and yes, it is considered a sport, just like chess. Physical activity isn’t what makes a sport a sport, it has to be a game of skill. There are games of skill, therefore video games can be considered a sport. There are even leagues. I’ll just have to wait until the general population sees things the same way I do in this regard.

3. How to animate. This is a big one. still drawings will only get me so far.

2. What jobs don’t require math that still pay well. I hate math with every fiber of my being, and I certainly don’t want to do it for a living…

1. How I’ll leave my mark on the world. I don’t want to live a quiet life unnocticed, I want to do something big. Something fresh, something that will forever change the way people view the world around them. Like Martin Luther King and Albert Einstein, I want to be truly revulutionary.

  Culture isn’t an easy subject to tackle for me; I have a British background and I can’t think of anything that defines the British culture that my family still embraces. We’re more of a Canadian family now, and with that comes a whole new set of traditions and taboos and such.

  “Patterns of human activity and the symbolic structures that give such activity significance,” -Wikipedia

   Problem is, I can’t think of any parts of Canadian culture that is exclusively Canadian. As a whole, we seem open to new ideas and embrace other cultures from all over the world (like the Ancient Greeks, sort of) and because of this the Canadian culture is like a mixing pot for every other culture on Earth.

  But what makes a culture? Food, language, beliefs, religion, and literature seem the most prominent to me.

  Food is my personal favourite. The food of a culture shows what cooking materials were available and cooking traditions. Social gatherings like harvests and Thanksgiving are often based around food. In fact, humanity as a whole depends on it. We worship it, rely on it for survival, and our economy is mostly driven by it- it’s the largest market on Earth because it’s obviously in demand. As Canadians, we share a lot of our culture specific foods with America and our respective countries of origins.  A Ukrainian food, for example, such as perogies is shared with family friends, who in turn pick up the dish and further spread it throughout our country until it becomes a common meal in the Canadian household.

  As the cultural mixing pot, Canada again is very diverse. Languages from the First Nations, Europe, Asia, and all other continents are present (albeit uncommon) but our more popular languages have a prominent historical background in the development of our country. The French and the English fought over this area for ages until the land became known as it’s own country, Canada. Because most of the early settlers were French or English, they’ve become the most prominent languages. Other languages such as Chinese are less common, but they’re still here and spoken by immigrants who embrace the culture of their homeland.

  The most obvious Canadian belief, to me, is choice. We can choose where we live, what jobs we have, where to go, who to rule, and who to worship. We don’t force our beliefs on others. Everyone is equal and everyone gets their say.

  Religion is more personal than the others. Religions don’t really mix too much, but we generally think that everyone can choose their religion for themselves. We don’t force our religions on each other much. We can worship what we choose.

  No one seems to mention literature. Literature is very important to culture: it shows the midset of the people, what they strive for, what they believe in, and where they stand in the particular era in which it was written.

   If I could box up 3 parts of our culture, I would box up our freedom of choice, freedom of speech, and our foods. I need my fries, the right to choose said fries, and the right to talk about how great they are. :]