Hey Ma, I’m on the Internet!

In case you haven’t heard, Rare is making a new Banjo-Kazooie game for the XBOX360. I for one am a huge fan of Rares old work and hoped it would be the blast-to-the-past I was looking for.

Frankly, what I’ve seen so far broke my gaming heart. I was hoping for Banjo- Threeie… but they’ve decided to add vehicles to replace everything that made the old games so amazing to me.

They took away all of Kazooie’s powers. I haven’t seen a single egg being shot, the duo hasn’t been turned into a washing machine at all so far ( a running gag. You’d get it if you played the first two) and not once have I seen Mumbo Jumbo demanding rediculous fees of metal skulls in order to turn you into something stupid.

As I’ve said, they actually added vehicles. Instead of using that bird in the bear’s backpack to fly, now you’re using helicopters. Rare representatives have said themselves- though I don’t have the exact quote- that about 80% of the adventure will take place in your vehicle.

Your vehicle is fully customizable. I’ve seen videos where adding wings or a propeller to the top of your car instantly makes it a flying machine (which is cool, it reminds me of LEGO) and a large basket-looking piece was added to what looked like a truck to collect falling coconuts.

I can understand Rare wanting to move the platforming genre forward, but did this really have to be a Banjo game? They easily could have made an entirely new IP for this game. Seeing as how Kazooie now carries around a wand, I’m guessing a wizard would’ve worked just fine. When the sequel was announced, I was expecting a traditional platformer.Now I have… this vehicular adventure game. I can’t say I’m not dissapointed.

I respect and applaud Rare’s contribution to the platforming genre and their attempts to move the genre forward, but I wasn’t looking for this. After seven years of MIA, I really hoped for something to bring me back to the old days. Back in a time where not every other game released was a FPS, back when games came in colours other than gray and brown, back when games didn’t take themselves so seriously and weren’t afaid to crack wise.

Back in a time when platformers ruled the land, and no one was afraid to try something new. Back when 3D graphics were cutting edge, but they still emphasized gameplay over graphics. Back when Japanese developers were making actual games instead of this Wii Fit, etc. garbage. Those were the good old days of gaming, and I’d kill to have them back.

  In an effort to avoid being overly preachy or sappy, I’ve decided to conduct a list of things I consider true. Whether you agree with them or not, I’d like to hear your own opinions. Maybe post some of your own truths? If I agree with them, maybe I’ll add them to the list.

  As with all my posts, I mean no hostility and if I offend anybody in a way I deem serious (if you don’t like my use of the word thick, for example, I’ll probably pay you no mind.) like accidently coming off as racist I’ll be sure to edit it.

1. When you’re walking down a street at night after watching a horror movie , the streetlight in front of you/under you will go out when it’s most inconvenient.

2. You never get lucky when you need to. Ever.

3. “Everyone lower on the chain than me is an idiot and everyone above me has their head up their rear.” - 8bit theatre. The world is full of jerks, including ourselves.

4. Life is hard, and everything gets worse before it gets better. You just have to keep your head up and keep moving forward, no matter how tough. I myself am relatively sheltered and have led an easy life, but we all know this to be true. It seems the world is always rallying against you, but they aren’t, and there are always some sort of help on your side.

5. “As history has taught us, anybody can be killed.”- The Godfather Which is pretty weak; I wanted to live forever.

6.Animals aren’t people, but people are animals.

7. People aren’t evil, they just mistake it for happiness.

8. Heartbreak happens (but I wouldn’t know that from experience).

9. You need a good education to succeed in this world.

10. All advice is best taken with a grain of salt.

11. Contrary to popular opinion, words can hurt. Thinking before you open your mouth can get you far, and makes you look less like a thick moron. I’m speaking from experience.

12. The minds of children are relatively untainted, and folks who take that away from them need a swift kick in the pants.

13. Things are either fantastic or mundane, never inbetween.

14. If it’s tasty it is definately bad for you. Nutella is the exception. Nutella > you.

15. Karma happens. Learn from it.

16. Soldiers shooting at each other does NOT solve the world’s problems. :/

17. Celebrities are not things to worship. Who cares what they do?

18. Not even The Flash can outrun death. Everyone has their time. For example, when my grandfather passed away, I was very, very crushed because I never got to say goodbye… I’m glad he went out with his dignity though. I like to think that’s better than slowly dieing from old age and it’s syptoms, being an emotional burden on himself and the family.

19. It doesn’t matter who you’re talking to, life was better back when they were a kid.

20. Adoption is the greatest gift you can give an orphan.

21. The homeless are people. Open your hearts to someone who needs it.

22. Crying doesn’t make you any less of a man/woman. Everyone has a breaking point.

23. Individuality was gods gift to man, yet I still see people trying to fit in. Popularity is overrated- you only need a handful of friends. Everyone has their own opinion, so if someone disagrees with you don’t immediately begin to sling mud.

 Say you like rap (eww. See? That’s an example of voicing your opinion!) and someone else likes Jazz, don’t take hostile action and don’t be baited into a stupid argument. It’s like arguing over whether apples or oranges is better.

24. Growing up is madatory, but growing up is optional.

25. Everyone is equal. If you judge people by their skin colour, ethnicity, etc. do the world a favour and never leave your house.

  An absolutely terrifying video of Ronald McDonald. If you never knew the true horror of that clown before, watch this video and open your eyes to his terrors! At about 0:57 it really gets messed up… Someone get this on TV and spread this warning: If we don’t stop eating at McDonalds, Ronald will take over the universe. You cannot aprehend the true creepiness of Ronald McDonald.

  The music in the background is the Giygas theme from Earthbound. Giygas is famous for being one of the most emotionally exhausting boss battles of the SNES era, and his quote “I feel H…A…P…P…Y…….”.

   If you’re afraid of clowns, you might be better off not watching this.

  So my class is participating in the 31-Day Comment Challenge. Seeing as how we’ll be getting some more traffic, I feel the need to basically make a post saying “How do you do, enjoy your stay.” So without further ado…

  How do you do, enjoy your stay.

  My name is Brandon, citizen of The Middle of Nowhere, Manitoba. I enjoy vidja games, particularly games on the Wii. Don’t think for a second I’m just another casual gamer - I don’t buy pointless shovelware like Table Tennis or Ninja Reflexes (honestly people, there are so many better games out there). I prefer No More Heroes, Super Mario Galaxy, Smash Bros Brawl, Metroid Prime and retro games of all sorts. Team Fortress 2 has also eaten up hours of my time, and I definately reccomend picking it up if you haven’t yet.

  I also get a kick out of drawing, but I don’t fool myself into thinking I’m a top-notch artist. I just enjoy doodling, is all. I use it as an outlet for making fun of the stupidity of the world around me, particularly pop culture. I really give ski-dooing, dirtbiking, and riding quads a good ribbing because I must be the only person in my class who thinks they’re stupid. I’m so nonconformist. :/

  Take a look around. Read the posts, and be sure to leave comments so everyone will know you’re super cool on the internet. ‘Cause as we all know, super cool folk post comments here.  ._.